So comedy.

Aziz Ansari...the Kal Penn of 2009.

Raaaaaaaandy - Part 1 (Funny People) from Aziz Ansari

My cousin, Randy with one "a", and I have been quoting this skit on the daily.
"Hey Randys parents..."

-M.Naaaaaaaatti

One less burden.

My shoes, vinyls, comics, video games and dvds are now safe from repossession. I have officially paid off my car and increased my personal net worth by however much a $22,000 car less five years depreciation compared to the Kelly blue book value is...sorry, ladies I am taken.

She's all mine.


-M.Natti

1000 Words X 1000 pictures

Possibly one of the best videos Ive ever seen:

The PEN Story from PENStory on Vimeo.

-M.Natti

Put down the power converters and single-handedley take down an intergalatic armada and have soosh at the same time?!?!? Start that fire and burn my closest aunt and uncle, because Im there, Billy Dee!!

LIGHTSABER CHOPSTICKS!!


The green Yoda ones are made for kids!

Produced by Kotobukiya and only available at Comic-Con, hopefully I score a pair on Thursday!


-M.Natti

One born every minute....

Paul and I have had many running jokes in the many years we've been friends. Sadly, the jokes we talk about have almost always been on him.

I think the first one goes back to '01-'02 before he ever shaved his moustache and showed his vagina lips. We were at the In N Out next to Citywalk. We were already half way done with our food when he shows up and tells us hes about to order. I put whats left of my burger down and tell Paul,"Yo, can you just order me a chive burger? Ill pay you when you get back, my hands are dirty." "Chive burger?" he asked with a puzzled look. "Yeah, its on their secret menu like Animal Style fries. They take their meat and ground it up with chives. Pretty good stuff." Id like to take a second to pat my self on the back as I made this all up as the conversation went along. Paul thought about for a second and said,"Cool, that sounds good. Let me get a bite." I bit my lip so hard trying not to laugh. So at this point everyone at the table knows this is a joke, so we stop eating and start counting down the people ahead of Paul so we know when hes next. Paul, being Paul, it wasnt hard to hear him from where we were sitting (the opposite end of the register). "Can I get a number 1, Animal style with grilled onions and a chive burger." The look on the persons face was priceless. "A what?" "A Chive Burger. CHIVE BURGER. On the secret menu." Paul started to mad as if THAT guy didnt know what HE was doing. "They mix in the chives with the meat you know and..." its at the second he realized something and looked back to all of us laughing at him. The person at the register couldnt hold it in and eventually cooking in the kitchen stopped for about 5 minutes while everyone laughed and pointed at Paul. Classic.

Another time Paul and I were in the drive thru of Taco Bell. By this time, he knows that he cant take me seriously...WITH ANYTHING....and at this point in our friendship he's on red alert with me and ordering food. So I give him the order for my 2 Chalupas, and before ordering he ALWAYS checks the menu to make sure that what I ordered is REALLY on there. He spots the picture and starts to order, BUT mid way through the order I hurriedly say,"Oh shit, Fence Taco. Fence Taco." "What?" as he gives me that furrowed,perplexed eye brow look when hes confused. "Fence Taco, they use a special pan to create a fence look. Just trust me, Ill give you a bite." Surprisingly, he believes me. "And a Fence taco." "Que?" the worker says through the box. "FENCE TACO!. You guys use a...." he looks at me as Im laughing hysterically and all of a sudden I hear through the Taco Bell squawk box and bunch of Mexicans laughing like George Lopez just started his PM shift.

Youd think at this age stories like this would just be that. Stories. No new entries for anyone to log in. Right.

WRONG.

This past weekend Dave had a house party for his 28th bday (5/5, BiF). There were a lot of people and a lot of crowded space in the living room/kitchen and in the back.

Joey and I went to the side of the house to get some fresh air because it was a bit congested. Randomly, there was a big 4'x5' piece of plywood leaning on the side of Daves house and written on it in big white letters was "YARD SALE" with a big white arrow.

By now everyone is a little, some a lot, inebriated (among other things). I pick it up and walk towards the back of the house where everyone was kicking it in front of the sliding door. Joey asks me where Im going with it and I told him to shut up and pull his pants up because Im never making out with him. I get to the back of the house and who do I see? Paul.

Either I was really that drunk that I was believable or Paul was just that faded that he would believe anything because I ran to him and handed him this huge sign. "Dave needs it!" I told him that its a rush and he needs to hurry because I cant get past the barricade of chairs Dave set up for the party (really, I was just moving the same chair in front of me). With little convincing Paul agreed to take this splintered piece of wood through a barrage of people in the back through the sliding door and into a crowded living room. My friend Jason saw what I was doing and went along with it by starting to yell,"Hey guys, get out of the way. Paul has to take this huge sign inside!!"

As soon as he gets it inside Dave automatically looks at the sign then at Pauls caught like a deer in headlights face believing Dave needed it right away and yelled,"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!? WHAT THE FUCK MAN, DUDE. TAKE THAT SHIT BACK FROM WHERE YOU GOT IT!!"

Ive never seen Paul so pissed off and Ive never seen people at a party laugh so hard that beer came out of their nose. The first thing Paul says to me is,"FUCK YOU! You always do this shit to me." He was still holding the sign.




-M.Natti

In memory of....

Given the passing of one of musics greatest artists, I found it fitting to post some kind of acknowledgment. So instead of suckling the sorrow teet like everyone else, I wanted to post this picture that I found off of Johnny Cupcakes blog:

He will be remembered as the King of Pop and the father of the Wonder Twins.

"Everybody gets one." -Spiderman in Family Guy.


-M.Natti

Squares have never been so cool.

The GF and I were watching Family Guy on Cartoon Network last night and saw a commercial for something called Cubeecraft. With my tangent, easily distracted personality, I immediately started ignoring her (more so than normal) and went to their site.

Cool shit, right?? So guess what we're doing Sunday night....heres a hint:

-110lb Card Stock Paper
-2 pairs of scissors
-Cartridges of ink

and....


and maybe...


aaaaaand this ones for Chi....


Peter Callesen eat your paper fucking heart out!!!


-M.Natti

Never too cool for this school!!

What youre looking at is the OFFICIAL website of an art and design school located in Japan: Zokei University. Not sure if there's any kind of English speaking handicap that they provide, but Im about ready to submit my FAFSA for some Jap Grants or Yen loans so I can attend.

80's babies have to be running the show here. All of it is very reminiscent of the old school NES role-playing games. Attention to detail is awesome too!! Every single character has something to say (I checked) in the form of a pop up box filled with text. Although its all in Japanese, I would think that some of the text translated to,"Stupid Engrish cannot leed this." Did you see the Dean sitting on the throne? The monster hidden in the woods?? Whats inside the shaking treasure box???

Someone get me a red potion because the excitement of all this is costing me hit points!! Its a pixelated plethora of pleasure!!!!

Check it out:
http://www.zokei.ac.jp/opencampus/main.html

-M.Natti

Adventure is out there!

So the GF and I watched this video:



Pretty cool, huh? Best part, its in the city I spent a lot of time in when I was growing up: Silverlake. After watching this I spent at least an hour trying to find out exactly where this hidden mural was. I searched blogs, forums and even prayed. "In the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit....God, with everyone asking you for things in this world, I just need to find one location. Almighty of Mighties...Awesome Bears...PLEASE!!?!"

I finally went to the only other source I cant think of: Agent Jov!
At first he was kind of reluctant to help me out because he was in the middle of drawing penis's (or is it Peni?), but with a little more persuasion he caved and gave me the exact location:






































If you saw where this place was, youd be boggled on how Jov found this spot. He says he was taking The Kidd out for a walk...I think he was prostituting one night and one of his male customers took him down this way and showed him what he could do in exchange for crack.

Until our next journey....


-M.Natti

Wake up, Mr.West

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose." -Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!



Congrats, Tooshie. Class of 2000 Swine!

-M.Natti

BOTies+1

We ALWAYS knew Harv would be the first to get married...probably because he was a fag with his emotion.

CONGRATS HARV AND TIFF!!

Tiffany & Harvey : Same Day Edit from Starcross'd Creative on Vimeo.

"No hard feelings, Im just doing my job." -Pac Man

In exactly 5 min. and 59 second, the "Pride of the Philippines" showed how he earned that moniker and what got him there "Pound for pound."6 minutes!! TV shows take more time to set the general plot for a particular episode. 6 minutes!! Things like driving to you local grocery or getting ready for work should only take that long? But a championship fight?!?!

Doug E. Fresh, youre on.

But my favorite part. MY FAVORITE PART of a Pacquiao is always the post fight in ring interview. Its not what Manny has to say, or at least TRY to say, that interests me. Although it always gives a good chuckle or two....its his entourage that enters the ring to congratulate and support him.

As the camera pans around and shows an 18x18 ring prevalent with Filipinos I cant help but think,"Dude, I have uncles and aunts that look JUST like them!"

Look closely and you'll see your gay tito who bring his boyfriend to the family parties, but we make sure to tell the kids that its their "special friend." Then the sleazy uncle and his best friend who's staring at the ring girls and then making it blatantly obvious he making some kind of obscene remark about her. Reinforcing your assumption will be the best friends reaction to it by making an even more obscene sexual gesture.

Oh, theyre all in there. Trust me.

You'll have the over dramatic aunt who's crying to the point where she'll faint only to be caught by her husband who you question why he's still with her. All the while her cousin, who for some reason lost in the years your family has been in The States, continues to hate on why she is the way she is. Then a bevy of first, second and third cousins who weren't fans until he started winning. They probably had Manny taking showers last and since they had to recycle you know that the tub water was a lot darker at that point. Now theyre sending him personalized tabos with "Magaling, Pare" written on the handle.

Dont forget the lesbian aunt in her baggy jeans and polo shirt. The oldest uncle who looks like he's asleep all the time. The bad cousins who smell like smoke. The good cousins who just look like nerds. The fancy aunt who shows off that she has a lot of money, but really that LV purse is fake and so is the custom jewelry. Then you have your sexy relatives who the older ones seem to pay a little too much attenton to. At one point, its not "love" that theyre showing. SICK!

Although in this instance, Id have to give Tom Jones the "Drunk" Tito title because dude was redder then the stripe on a San Miguel bottle but yet he STILL sang the anthem like it was his turn on the Magic Mic. Not familiar with the song, I wasnt sure who was off him or the other blokes in attendance with too many pints of ale in their system.

Next up...Mayweather?

-M.Natti

Viva La Medicacion

There's a new strand of the flu going around called "Swine Flu" They say its typical among people who work heavily with poultry and swine. Thats chicken and pigs not bitches and cops.

Recent reports have stated that this particular strand mutated and originated in Mexico. So the paranoid in me can rest assured because I dont live close to too many Mexicans. *end sarcasm*

I live in LA. The acronym itself is Spanish for "The." Our freaking Mayor is Mexican!!! You know how scared I am to breathe?? Its SARS all over again. So go dig up your cotton masks and safety gloves because I dont know what kind of vaccinations will be available if this spreads. I cant go to Santee for some bootleg meds because the very people that sold them brought the disease over here.

Help.

-M.Natti

Two a Days.

Very. Very. Very. Dangerous. Ive been drinking at least two of these a day. It tastes like "God's Vagina."

-M.Natti

Sick.

Add it to my list of "Why I fear clowns."



F you, Clown!

-M.Natti

Border Patrol

So I had some time after class to eat some authentic Mexican cuisine: Taco Bell Chalupas. I, of course, received the service thats as genuine as its food.

I walk in there and I have two of the workers with their backs turned to me. They were apparently at what they call the "line" making food or just being lazy. I still cant tell. Another one saw me walk in and tries to hide in the corner...but she chose the corner right next to the register as if I wouldnt spot her rotund Latina body and poorly dyed blonde hair. What makes it worse is that shes trying to signal her two other lazy compadres. She does this point motion where she doesnt extend her arm, but keeps it close to her body and only extends her hand using her wrist. I guess today wont be the day where I get to see a Mexican Ninja.

Apparently, the three amigos were just waiting for their boss or at least the only person that spoke English. As I was paying, I noticed the corner next to the register was less one Mexican. She someone Puerto Rican Judoed her way to the other side of the machines to be lazy out of sight.

So my order comes up as I approach the counter Im asked for my receipt to verify that its my order. Im looking around and I dont have it. More importantly, I look around and Im the only customer in the there. He isnt letting me take my food! It becomes a tug-of-war with me and Senor. Whoever has a majority of the crunchy taco on their side by the time the next customer comes in, wins. But really, I was irrate and hungry when I asked him,"Are you going for Manager of the Year? Its JUST me in here." Here I find that his argument skills were as poor as his English skills cause his response was,"The Manajers busy." So Im like,"YOU RANG ME UP!" and if this really were a rope, Id have landed on my ass by how quickly he let go. If this were the World Cup, the score would be Philippines: 1 Mexico: 0.

As I leave, I look over to see the same backs that kindly greeted me when I walked in 30 min. ago. "Looks wet." I say as I sprint out of there dodging Mild, Medium and Fire packets.

-M.Natti

Attending to the masses.

Been busy and left with little to no time for blogging.

I miss you all too....

Fret not, Ill be coming back shortly with some stories that is my life.

*smooches*

-M.Natti

AM.

Things that could ruin my morning:
-Stepping on water and getting my socks wet JUST as I was leaving for work.
-Seeing a dead animal on the road...not the gross kind where its split open in the middle and you see the blood-spattered pavement. Rather, theyre still in one piece, because it looked like a painful death...On second thought, if I were an animal THAT would definitely ruin my morning.
-I realize that I miscounted my boxers for the week and end up having to wearing basketball shorts under my pants.
-There is very little toothpaste left in the tube. So little that I had to apply so much pressure that I got on my tippy toes to push what little I could out.
-No Toilet paper...but finding out seconds before you wipe.


On a totally unrelated note, but because I saw it this morning. Heres a dope video of one of my all-time faves:



COP iT! Im sure it wont be anything like "New Danger" and better than "True Magic."
BOOOOOOOOOOGIE MAN!!

Thanks go to my girlfriends gay cousin Rai for this.

-M.Natti

"The Best...

Before Pharrell bought that pink Ralph Lauren Polo. And decades before Fabolous asked Louis V to custom make him a pink suit (which I think he should've spent that money on braces and a teacher to tell him that his name is spelled wrong). Ask Cam'ron where he got the idea to rock pink:

Not only did this person sport pink, but he did it while wearing a unitard

Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

"The best there is. The best there ever was. The best that ever will be."

In commemoration of Wrestlemania 25 happening this Saturday, I think its only fitting to dedicate a blog to my all-time favorite wrestler.

I remember watching WWF (before the "Get the 'F' out" shirts) on Saturday mornings and seeing The Hitman stroll down the walkway slapping hands, reaching the outside of the ring, eyeing his opponent first then looking into the audience for a young fan worthy enough for him to crown him with Bret's very own pink-plastic reflective shades. Until this day, I wish I couldve been one of those kids...if Myspace existed back then I wouldve dedicated an entire album of me wearing those glasses.

If I drink this weekend, Ill be sure to make a toast to Bret Hart and his Sharpshooter.






*Honorable mention goes to Shawn Michaels....but only cause he did Playgirl. Thats not gay at all.
-M.Natti

Holy Smokes

Stole this "12 Apostle" idea from my girlfriend.

Who I would have at my "Last Supper":

1. Kevin Smith as Silent Bob. His only words for the night would be the speech right before we end the evening. It'll be the most prolific thing any of us have ever heard. The rest of the time he'll be making stupid faces and pantomiming dick and fart jokes.
2. Quentin Tarantino. He'll turn our 30 minute supper into an +2 hour movie of individual monologues touching on everything from Howard Sterns penis to WKRP in Cincinnati.
3. Brian K. Vaughan. Maybe he'll name a character after me in one of his comic books or on LOST.
4. A Zombie. The traditional kind that cant run and can only limp, but he'd have to have been wearing a suit when he became a zombie. If youre going to bleed on the table or try to eat my guests at least look nice doing it. Also, I always wanted to know if I can dodge an attack by one.
5. Keri Hilson. "Miss Keri, Baaaaby." You see the "Knock You Down" vid? Personality for daaaaaaaaays.
6. Michael Jordan. I'd love to be in the presence of greatness Maybe he can give me a pair of Gray 4's.
7. Lupe Fiasco. Id request for "Hurt Me Soul" to be performed strictly in acapella as he stared into my eyes. Oh, thats not gay at all.
8. Jazz from Transformers. The only robot Ive ever wanted to be in. Thats not gay either.
9. Natalie Portman from Garden State. If sidecars are for bitches, she can sit on my lap. Plus I have too many dudes on this guestlist.
10. Keyser Soze. Cause I need a Judas.
11. Tron, but ONLY if he lets me drive his Light Cycle OR Marty McFly if he agrees to letting me drive his Delorean (whoever sends in their RSVP first wins).
12. Neo from the Matrix.

Food provided by the Robot Number Seven from Benchwarmers.

Raspberry Iced Tea courtesy of Brisk.

Portrait painted by James Jean.

-M.Natti

GREATEST.INVENTION.EVER.*

I had some time in between class and work so I stopped by the local Mcdonalds to order myself my usual Wed. 10 pc. Chicken Nugget combo. Despite the shitty service the very young staff provides its customers, I was treated to a very very nice surprise....

If you dont know, Im a HUGE fan of ketchup. You know that really bad joke Uma Thurman tells John Travolta in Pulp Fiction? Well, in my past life, I think I was that short-fused father. There are foods that I just wont touch unless I know that there is an ample amount of ketchup available. What am I rambling about?

Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you:

THE KETCHUP FAUCET

Way better than the old school pumps In N Out uses! It works as simple as pulling the lever down and seeing the ketchup flow like baby tears in Octa-mom's house. Id like to think that the inventors name was Sam. Sam shares the same passion for ketchup as I do, but Sam has Carpal Tunnel, which led to him thinking of an easier way of dispensing ketchup.

Its the hoverboard, everlasting gobstopper and Midas touch all rolled into one except its REAL!!


*for the month of March

-M.Natti

Gluttony never felt so good.

In a nation plagued with obesity, what better way to celebrate it then with a site full of nothing BUT high cholesterol, high fat, high everything that will kill you soon by way of a blocked artery.

Hot dogs covered in Mac N Cheese:



MmmMmMMMM...Pizza Cone:


Bacon Cheese Pizza Burger aka HEEEEAAAVEEEEN!!! (For Chi and Francis)


I know Im in poor health because my mouth started to drool with some of the pics on the site.

Want more? Ask and you shall receive my plus-size male and Lane-Bryant-shopping readers. My left side starts to go numb and I slightly seizure by just typing in the URL: www.thisiswhyyourefat.com

-M.FATti

Not grosser than gross, but pretty gross.

Growing up in a Filipino Household I was always taught that a sign of respect was to greet your elders with a kiss on the cheek when you enter their house. Whether it be your Drunk Tito, Crying Tita, Senile Lolo/Lola or your gay uncle (we all have one, some at more severe degrees than others. But I would draw the line at the one that wears make up and crosses their legs like Sharon Stone in an interrogation room while they smoke a cigarette).

THANK GOD that I didnt grow up in a household where the obligatory greeting with a kiss on the cheek was, instead, an obligatory greeting with a kiss on the LIPS!!!! It makes me cringe....take your chubby cheeked gay aunt...the one that has a fade for a haircut, wears polo shirts, baggy denim jeans and studs in her ear and imagine her having sex with herself...thats how gross it is to me. Its not that parents do this in a pedophilic kind of way, its just common in some families/cultures.

F*CK THAT!

If thats the norm for certain sects of society, then let me lead the charge of mass genocide.

Like all traditions, this would carry onto adulthood. Take the hardest, meanest and toughest person you know....for that matter, take Kimbo Slice. Now imagine Slice had to get dropped off by his dad somewhere. They get to their destination and as he says bye, you catch him leaning over and kissing some random old dude on the lips. Thats like seeing a chollo being brought to tears listening to a Jonas Brothers song. No ones gonna be scared to fight him! I wouldnt be scared to fight him!!! Slap some lightweight shorts on me and get your camera ready to upload onto the internet and start recording. Ill be scrubbing my pots and pans wit his coarse beard in minutes.*

Love your kids, but dont love your kids.

*Mr.Slice, if you do in fact kiss your father on the lips and take offense to my words then you can reach me on my page here.

-M.Natti

Case of the Blue Balls.

->click here<-

-M.Natti

"Give me the f*cking keys, you f*cking c*ocksucker..."

Ever leave a 7/11 or convenience store and notice a number chart running along the trim of the door? Yeah, you know what Im talking about. Its almost always starts at with the number 5 and goes as high as the number 7.

You know what thats for? Its so the clerk or witnesses or camera can get an approximate height of anyone that tries to steal or rob or murder at said locations.

So instead of just saying the guy was black, they can add,"He was black and about 6 foot 5."

Pop Culture Points for you if you guessed the reference my title is making.

-M.Natti

My HallMark Moment...

So my cousin JOV! wasnt feeling too well yesterday. He had to go to Urgent Care like a bitch. Being the loving cousin that I am, I sent him a "get well" picture message:



He's still alive, so I guess it worked.

-M.Natti

Vinyl Envy

Its not his back-to-back-to-back DMC Championship titles.

Its not the episodes of Turntable TV that me and friends watched over and over on VHS in the Summer of '98. Lamb Chop!

Its not Track 11 on Wave Twisters.

Im jealous of DJ Qbert because he has his own toy:



One of my ultimate goals in life is to have a toy made in my image. Whether it be an action figure, vinyl or a cute plush. Youre probably thinking,"I think its cause you like the satisfaction of knowing that little kids will play with you." Well, youre kind of right. I want to walk down the toy section aisle and see me behind a clear plastic blister pack next to the likes of The Dark Knight or Megatron. I want to be in the care package parents send to their kids that are away for Summer camp (Yes, Fat Camp counts). I want to do an Ebay search of my name and see the words "Rare" or "Hard to Find" attached to the Vinyl Toy image of me positioned next to the blind box I was pulled out of thats part of the series of all things related to me.

Yes, this is how much I think about this stuff.

Gotta go, Im deciding which pair of Dunks will be packaged with me.

-M.Natti

Listen to Joe Jackson.

Thanks Filipinos. First the Thriller routine in that prison in Cebu and now this shit:



-M.Natti

Oh Captain. My Captain.

Up until recently, Ive always fallen under the "good leader, GREAT follower" category. I never really cared for that spotlight, nor did I want that responsibility. Why? Because with responsibility comes the pressure of blame and example.

Moses and the Jews. Desert is spelled with one "S" because I dont want more than one.

Steven Seagal in Executive Decision. Why do I have to take point?!? Send B.D. Wong up there first. I cant do a roundhouse kick in that small tube!

Kobe. Ok, so Pig Miller and Devean can use their fame to their advantage, but hitting on the help during rehab is rape?!? (personal note: Yes)

In fact, I remember the first time I was put in a leadership role. I dont know what my 3rd grade teacher was thinking, but she put me in charge of a classroom full of my fellow 3rd graders while she stepped out for a few minutes. At the time, I was excited. Finally, I can make my presence known and establish some dominance. "Alex Santee, stay within the lines when you color!" "Leslie Kim, stop fiddling with your Pochacco pencil box and pay attention." All orders I saw myself giving in my inaugural minute as The Boss.

Unfortunately, things didnt go as planned.

The minute my teacher stepped out, I was bombarded with requests to go to the bathroom. And I of course didnt, nay, COULDNT deny them. I was sending my people to the bathroom like the smell of the urinal and the color of the tiles were on tomorrows test. Not wanting my people to suffer I was letting them go 2-3 people at a time. I was under the impression that I was doing a good job making sure that my peoples bladders were empty before our journey of a thousand milss began.

Little did I know that 3rd graders can be such deceptive bastards. They werent going to the bathroom!! We found Becky Wood and Denise Santos pushing each other on the swings. Nick Sifrit and Kacey Jay tied Jason Norres to the tetherball pole. There were a group of girls playing hopscotch and another group of boys playing caroms behind the shed where we kept all our balls.

I felt like Miss Piggy Tits from Lord of the Flies and everyone was throwing rocks at me!!

Nonetheless, order was restored once the teacher returned. She looked at me like it was my fault. In hindsight, how irresponsible was it to put a 3rd grader in charge of 3rd graders?!?

She shouldve thought it out better and at least left me with a gun


-M.Natti

Riter wanted

Rekwirements:
-Able to read and right at a grade skool level
-High tolerant four ignoranse and bad clothing
-2-3 yeers of Ebonics
-Rep Brooklyn dramatically
-Karisma

Interested? Please holla at me:

Econ 101

Sometimes you just hear/read things thats so good, you wish you wrote it:

Audio/Visual:



-M.Natti

"....you the love of my life...."

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is awesome!!!

His first guest last night was Donald Trump. What makes the show so awesome?? Not only are The Roots his house band, BUT they played "C.R.E.A.M." as Trump made his way to couch.

First Ron Howard on the "Blame It" video and now this.

I think I just Larry the Cable Guy kissing his phone...

-M.Natti

Addiction

I can go for my favorite drink right about now: Jack In the Box Oreo Cookie Milk Shake.

Tastes like heaven!!!

I can be in a room full of Evangeline Lilly's, Keri Hilson's (with better hair), Olivia Munn's, Danielle Fishel's (late Boy Meets World high school years, pre-College years where she joined the local Competitive Eating team and gained A LOT of weight; where it was believable that someone like Corey Mathews could land a chick of that caliber), Beyonce's (from the Irreplaceable video), Lauren London (Post NERD video, pre ATL with the slutty side of This Christmas) and Rosario Dawson's (ANY movie, even Deathproof where I totally didnt agree with her hairstyle) all auditioning for a role in a sex scene with me in the movie of my life (its Oscar material already). And if theres a thick Oreo Cookie Shake with a penis tipped swirly straw sticking out of it, you know Id suck the shit out of that shake like the Academy was watching.

I want one that bad....


-M.Natti

Eye Party

I have yet to watch this, but it looks real good visually:


(Dont mind the Englush dub, it sounds much better in Japanese w/subtitles)


-M.Natti

Dont know what youre talking about....

This is no way an indication or announcement of a certain date that someone who celebrates on the same day annually for the past 27 years is approaching....not at all.










-M.Natti

Basterds make 7

Overdone monologues. Genius writing.
Unnecessary goar. Well-balanced violence.
Dated Soundtrack. Revived Classics.

Another Tarantino joint classic.

Watch This

Ive never been too big on fancy accessories or extravagant jewelry. If I do get married, Im skipping the BS Ring formalities and proposing with a wedding band, so the night before the wedding Im going to have to ask the lucky bride to be to leave the band next to the wad of bills that Im going to use for the stripper at my Bachelor party. But dont worry, IF it gets lost, she'll still bear the green stain around her finger left by said wedding band.

My point being: I love finding common accessories with an innovative twist.

Watch by Tokyo Flash. Stainless steel. All the numbers are in Kanji, but even if you cant read Kanji theyre still in numerical order. You read the time from right to left. The right bar is the hour, the top left bar is for the 10's and the bottom left is for the minute. What makes it cooler is if you push the button at the bottom, the blue LEDs' start rising to the top like youre about to go into warp speed and as they come back down, and individual LED stops at the hour and minute.

Repeat x10

Very seldom do I hear a song that can have the same effect on me almost every time I hear it. Im talking about the "close my eyes as the beat drops" feeling. Its like remembering the sound of your mom's voice when you were 14 waking you up on a Saturday morning for breakfast instead of an alarm clock getting you up for your 9 to 5er. Its as good as hearing a group people laughing at a joke YOU made.

The louder the better.

If I ever become a professional boxer, wrestler or anything that requires me to walk in as the main focus of attention, Id use this song (even though it would make no sense playing it before I straight choke slam someone).

Hear along:




-M.Natti

For your viewing pleasure.

"You know, nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills..."

All Hail the King.

After over 10 years since its last TRUE sequel, Street Fighter is back this week!! If you dont remember, let me re-learn you, back in the early 90's SFII DOMINATED the arcade scene. Great characters, awesome gameplay and very simple to learn, but difficult to master. It was the foundation for countless fighting games to come.

Street Fighter 4 has been out in the arcades and in Japan for almost a year now. In fact, the local arcade has had a few machines since last Summer. I overheard a rumor that they were open on Labor Day for 24 hours just because of this game. Yes, that is how BIG this game is.

BUUUUUT, this wasnt the SF us pre-super video game console kids grew up with. The game itself cost about $2.00 to play, so dont put just one quarter up on the machine thinking that thats your ticket to being next. Theres no more trying to peer over someones shoulder to see who's playing. They presented this on a 40 inch HD flat screen, meaning you should come with impeccable quarter circles because EVERYONE will see your ass getting kicked.

For fans of Street Fighter II, youre going to LOVE it. Its a huge upgrade visually and strategically. The home console version is just like, if not better, the arcade version. With the online capabilities that almost ALL video games have these days, you wont have to go to your local arcade, although that experience alone is priceless, and battle the masses for your chance to play. On top of that, they'll be additional content that you'll be able to download later on. In other words: your social life has fallen below non-existent.

Welcome to the club.


-MNatti

Virgin no more....

Ive gone and done it.....started my own blog.

So Im a few, nay, MANY years late on this thing, but if Hov can bring back gold then I can do this.

No, Im not joining Facebook. The trend with these "social networks" has been me joining EVERY OTHER one. I skipped Friendster, joined Myspace, skipping Facebook and will probably join the next one..."Myface" or "BookOFriends" Who knows?!?!?


Still under construction.....


Enjoy wasting time together dear readers....


-MNatti