There's a new strand of the flu going around called "Swine Flu" They say its typical among people who work heavily with poultry and swine. Thats chicken and pigs not bitches and cops.
Recent reports have stated that this particular strand mutated and originated in Mexico. So the paranoid in me can rest assured because I dont live close to too many Mexicans. *end sarcasm*
I live in LA. The acronym itself is Spanish for "The." Our freaking Mayor is Mexican!!! You know how scared I am to breathe?? Its SARS all over again. So go dig up your cotton masks and safety gloves because I dont know what kind of vaccinations will be available if this spreads. I cant go to Santee for some bootleg meds because the very people that sold them brought the disease over here.
Help.
-M.Natti
4.28.2009
4.20.2009
Two a Days.
Very. Very. Very. Dangerous. Ive been drinking at least two of these a day. It tastes like "God's Vagina."
-M.Natti
4.18.2009
4.17.2009
Border Patrol
So I had some time after class to eat some authentic Mexican cuisine: Taco Bell Chalupas. I, of course, received the service thats as genuine as its food.
I walk in there and I have two of the workers with their backs turned to me. They were apparently at what they call the "line" making food or just being lazy. I still cant tell. Another one saw me walk in and tries to hide in the corner...but she chose the corner right next to the register as if I wouldnt spot her rotund Latina body and poorly dyed blonde hair. What makes it worse is that shes trying to signal her two other lazy compadres. She does this point motion where she doesnt extend her arm, but keeps it close to her body and only extends her hand using her wrist. I guess today wont be the day where I get to see a Mexican Ninja.
Apparently, the three amigos were just waiting for their boss or at least the only person that spoke English. As I was paying, I noticed the corner next to the register was less one Mexican. She someone Puerto Rican Judoed her way to the other side of the machines to be lazy out of sight.
So my order comes up as I approach the counter Im asked for my receipt to verify that its my order. Im looking around and I dont have it. More importantly, I look around and Im the only customer in the there. He isnt letting me take my food! It becomes a tug-of-war with me and Senor. Whoever has a majority of the crunchy taco on their side by the time the next customer comes in, wins. But really, I was irrate and hungry when I asked him,"Are you going for Manager of the Year? Its JUST me in here." Here I find that his argument skills were as poor as his English skills cause his response was,"The Manajers busy." So Im like,"YOU RANG ME UP!" and if this really were a rope, Id have landed on my ass by how quickly he let go. If this were the World Cup, the score would be Philippines: 1 Mexico: 0.
As I leave, I look over to see the same backs that kindly greeted me when I walked in 30 min. ago. "Looks wet." I say as I sprint out of there dodging Mild, Medium and Fire packets.
-M.Natti
I walk in there and I have two of the workers with their backs turned to me. They were apparently at what they call the "line" making food or just being lazy. I still cant tell. Another one saw me walk in and tries to hide in the corner...but she chose the corner right next to the register as if I wouldnt spot her rotund Latina body and poorly dyed blonde hair. What makes it worse is that shes trying to signal her two other lazy compadres. She does this point motion where she doesnt extend her arm, but keeps it close to her body and only extends her hand using her wrist. I guess today wont be the day where I get to see a Mexican Ninja.
Apparently, the three amigos were just waiting for their boss or at least the only person that spoke English. As I was paying, I noticed the corner next to the register was less one Mexican. She someone Puerto Rican Judoed her way to the other side of the machines to be lazy out of sight.
So my order comes up as I approach the counter Im asked for my receipt to verify that its my order. Im looking around and I dont have it. More importantly, I look around and Im the only customer in the there. He isnt letting me take my food! It becomes a tug-of-war with me and Senor. Whoever has a majority of the crunchy taco on their side by the time the next customer comes in, wins. But really, I was irrate and hungry when I asked him,"Are you going for Manager of the Year? Its JUST me in here." Here I find that his argument skills were as poor as his English skills cause his response was,"The Manajers busy." So Im like,"YOU RANG ME UP!" and if this really were a rope, Id have landed on my ass by how quickly he let go. If this were the World Cup, the score would be Philippines: 1 Mexico: 0.
As I leave, I look over to see the same backs that kindly greeted me when I walked in 30 min. ago. "Looks wet." I say as I sprint out of there dodging Mild, Medium and Fire packets.
-M.Natti
Attending to the masses.
Been busy and left with little to no time for blogging.
I miss you all too....
Fret not, Ill be coming back shortly with some stories that is my life.
*smooches*
-M.Natti
I miss you all too....
Fret not, Ill be coming back shortly with some stories that is my life.
*smooches*
-M.Natti
4.13.2009
AM.
Things that could ruin my morning:
-Stepping on water and getting my socks wet JUST as I was leaving for work.
-Seeing a dead animal on the road...not the gross kind where its split open in the middle and you see the blood-spattered pavement. Rather, theyre still in one piece, because it looked like a painful death...On second thought, if I were an animal THAT would definitely ruin my morning.
-I realize that I miscounted my boxers for the week and end up having to wearing basketball shorts under my pants.
-There is very little toothpaste left in the tube. So little that I had to apply so much pressure that I got on my tippy toes to push what little I could out.
-No Toilet paper...but finding out seconds before you wipe.
On a totally unrelated note, but because I saw it this morning. Heres a dope video of one of my all-time faves:
COP iT! Im sure it wont be anything like "New Danger" and better than "True Magic."
BOOOOOOOOOOGIE MAN!!
Thanks go to my girlfriends gay cousin Rai for this.
-M.Natti
-Stepping on water and getting my socks wet JUST as I was leaving for work.
-Seeing a dead animal on the road...not the gross kind where its split open in the middle and you see the blood-spattered pavement. Rather, theyre still in one piece, because it looked like a painful death...On second thought, if I were an animal THAT would definitely ruin my morning.
-I realize that I miscounted my boxers for the week and end up having to wearing basketball shorts under my pants.
-There is very little toothpaste left in the tube. So little that I had to apply so much pressure that I got on my tippy toes to push what little I could out.
-No Toilet paper...but finding out seconds before you wipe.
On a totally unrelated note, but because I saw it this morning. Heres a dope video of one of my all-time faves:
COP iT! Im sure it wont be anything like "New Danger" and better than "True Magic."
BOOOOOOOOOOGIE MAN!!
Thanks go to my girlfriends gay cousin Rai for this.
-M.Natti
4.03.2009
"The Best...
Before Pharrell bought that pink Ralph Lauren Polo. And decades before Fabolous asked Louis V to custom make him a pink suit (which I think he should've spent that money on braces and a teacher to tell him that his name is spelled wrong). Ask Cam'ron where he got the idea to rock pink:
Not only did this person sport pink, but he did it while wearing a unitard
Bret "The Hitman" Hart.
"The best there is. The best there ever was. The best that ever will be."
In commemoration of Wrestlemania 25 happening this Saturday, I think its only fitting to dedicate a blog to my all-time favorite wrestler.
I remember watching WWF (before the "Get the 'F' out" shirts) on Saturday mornings and seeing The Hitman stroll down the walkway slapping hands, reaching the outside of the ring, eyeing his opponent first then looking into the audience for a young fan worthy enough for him to crown him with Bret's very own pink-plastic reflective shades. Until this day, I wish I couldve been one of those kids...if Myspace existed back then I wouldve dedicated an entire album of me wearing those glasses.
If I drink this weekend, Ill be sure to make a toast to Bret Hart and his Sharpshooter.
*Honorable mention goes to Shawn Michaels....but only cause he did Playgirl. Thats not gay at all.
-M.Natti
Not only did this person sport pink, but he did it while wearing a unitard
Bret "The Hitman" Hart.
"The best there is. The best there ever was. The best that ever will be."
In commemoration of Wrestlemania 25 happening this Saturday, I think its only fitting to dedicate a blog to my all-time favorite wrestler.
I remember watching WWF (before the "Get the 'F' out" shirts) on Saturday mornings and seeing The Hitman stroll down the walkway slapping hands, reaching the outside of the ring, eyeing his opponent first then looking into the audience for a young fan worthy enough for him to crown him with Bret's very own pink-plastic reflective shades. Until this day, I wish I couldve been one of those kids...if Myspace existed back then I wouldve dedicated an entire album of me wearing those glasses.
If I drink this weekend, Ill be sure to make a toast to Bret Hart and his Sharpshooter.
*Honorable mention goes to Shawn Michaels....but only cause he did Playgirl. Thats not gay at all.
-M.Natti
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